Our blessed baby girl, Siri, has arrived!

She has certainly changed our routine. A normal Thursday night pre-Siri consisted of a dinner together in the kitchen and watching a favorite tv show with a bowl of popcorn and a beer. (Well, I haven’t had the beer in the past 9 months, but you get the idea). Post-Siri, we are lucky to be at the dinner table at the same time and forget paying attention to tv! I concentrate on changing/nursing/pumping/burping while Ben cleans up after me. I never before understood why a mom with a newborn struggles to find time to eat or shower- but now I get it.

It is amazing how our home can go from tidy to a complete disaster in 15 minutes. Just add a screaming baby, an attempt at a meal, a spit up episode, and maybe a blowout diaper for good measure- and that is how I find myself in barely controlled chaos.

Siri has also changed our focus. She is on my mental radar at all times. I enter a room and think, “Where is Siri?” I leave a room and calculate how far I can go and still hear her if she fusses. I plan to do something, like mail a letter or take a shower, and  judge how much time I have and if necessary, how quickly can I finish if the aforementioned chaos strikes. Sometimes my head hurts with all the effort of attending to my daughter. That is when I hand her off to Ben and my brain hits a “refresh” button.

Siri brings out a new depth of emotion in both of us. I know it’s not possible to actually tug a heartstring, but the love I have for my daughter feels like a physical pull. I hear her cry and rush to soothe her; I see her face light up and my heart soars. Ben says, “How is it possible that I love you more each day?” So true.